Subway Funday
by alexbenchfan
Summary: young internet pals have a fun day at Subway


it was a cold winter night and i was alone watching the walking dead. i opened the twitter app and posted a screenshot of a text i recieved from mat. he told me "if he was a camel he would want me in the desert all day not water". As i finished my cat eye makeup i opened the camera app and uploaded my daily selfie to instagram #selfieprincess #ootd #cute. It was day 18 in the January Photo Challenge, the theme was "sad". I took a picture making a pouty face and then picstiched that picture next to a text from mat that said "i miss you". I walked downstairs to make food and my grandfather was sitting at the kitchen table. I was walking to the fridge when he noticed the hickey on my neck and started yelling at me, he reaked of subway sandwiches.

"what's this? have you been seeing that black boy again?"

"no grandpa"

"go to your room"

"kms"

i reached into the drawer of my dresser and pulled out a full container of children's vitamins. But there was one last thing I needed to do. I texted my friend asking for a favour, and she said she would drive me to the mall. I forwarded the text to twitter and got in the car. We took selfies in the mall and I ran into victoria's secret and got the edible chocolate body icing. Mat texted me telling me to meet him at pizza hut. He showed up at the pizza place with a really dumb haircut, definitely not what I fucking asked him to get. I checked my twitter app and saw a really sassy reply from kyra and started crying. Mat wiped my tears away and that's when the fun began. I asked him if he wanted to go to one of my grandpa's subways to be alone. He said "sure, i love sandwiches" and I replied with, "a sandwich isn't the only thing you're going to be shoving in your mouth". We went to subway, it was completely empty. We walked inside and my phone vibrated, it was a mobile update from Bo Burnham, I mentioned how hot he was and Mat took this as an opportunity to tell me how hot I am.I pulled out the body icing, and then he asked me if we were going to make a cake.

"We're not making a cake, we're making love"

Matt takes off his pants and I exclaimed "Oh cool, I've only seen penises on the porn that Morgan Stewart has linked me to!"

I took off my snuggie slowly while staring deeply into his brown eyes and mat said "wow, dang"

"I know you're straight...but do you want to be fucked with a dildo..because I brought one...

actually I brought two..."

"I just wanna put my footlong in your tuna salad"

"come take a bite of this seafood sensation"

he begins to do the deed and I stopped him,

"wait, do you have a condom!? I don't want to get pregnant!"

"nobody will notice anyway, I forgot to bring one can we just use the wrapping they use for sandwiches?"

"I don't know how this works anyway so I guess so, I hope this doesn't give me a paper cut"

He slipped the wrapper on and entered me slowly, I asked if we could take a photo for instagram,

"it for the January photo challenge!" i exclaimed

he agreed and as I was about to take the photo, the door opened and Alex Van remortal walked into the room.

"oops sorry wrong subway...I must have boarded a little too far from colorado? where am i exactly? mind if i join?"

Alex took his longboard and rammed it up Mat's ass.

"This is soo groovy"

"Yeah man these are the best wheels money can buy"

"I hang out with Aidan a lot so i'm pretty experienced"

I felt super left out so I posted a status on meet me about how lonely I was. Suddenly the door opened again and Ovie walked in.

"Have you seen my friend he's dressed like me"

"oh...gosh...sorry...didn't mean to interrupted your meat lovers marathon"

I turned to Ovie and asked

"do you want to fuck me with a cucumber?"

"sure, why not?"

"I'm a bench so come sit on me" I said.

Ovie's footlong had been intrigued and he couldn't take it anymore. Alex squealed,

"Oh, you're better than my ex-girlfriend"

I said seductively to Ovie, "put your meat in my sandwich buns"

"do you want that toased?"

"I want your dressing all over me"

Asia came through the door and deported me, I was walking when-

*Mat's POV*

#RIPAlex was trending on twitter, apparently she fell into a mine, in Asia. The only people left in Subway were other Alex, Ovie, and I.

I asked Alex if he would finger my butt.

Before Alex could respond, somebody came through the door. I think it was Alex Bench's grandpa.

"YOU KIM POSSIBLE WATCHING NAKED MOLE RAT LICKING MOTHER FUCKING SON OF A BITCHES GET OUT OF MY GODDAMN RESTAUARANT. NIGGERS NEEDA GTFO."

We walked out the door and everyone just kinda went home.

The end.


End file.
